Thursday, March 3, 2011

Charlie “OMG” Sheen

Blogosphere, I’ve missed you! I’ve been offline lately because of travel and work and schedule things but I’m happy to be back.

Let’s get right to it: Charlie Sheen.

There has been so much in the media over the past few days, it feels like a crazy explosion. At first I have to confess I was fascinated by the unfolding events … then Sheen planted himself firmly in the land of Mel Gibson, Gary Busey, Randy Quaid – not exactly great company. Then I was morbidly fascinated by the train wreck that had fast become Sheen with his “tiger blood and Adonis DNA” and his goddesses.

Saying things like the bones of the producers of Two and a Half Men would melt like wax if they hung out with him. Quotes like: “I’m going to ride the winds of the universe.”

Highlights from his NBC Today show interview on Monday 2/28:

“I want a raise. Look at what they put me through. I’m underpaid.”

“I’m tired of pretending I’m not a bitchin’ total rock star from Mars. You can’t process me with a normal brain.”

Re curing his addictions: “I closed my eyes and made it so – with my mind. AA was created by a broken down fool and a plagiarist.”

"Thomas Jefferson was a p****."

“I am on a drug, a drug called Charlie Sheen.”

“They picked a fight with a warlock.”

He plans on winning “the war” against CBS with “violent hatred.”

They are going to rename Warner Brothers “Charlie Brothers.”

He said CBS owes him a public apology while licking his feet, and closed that portion of the interview with some paranoid questions for Chuck Lorre that he had written out on index cards. BTW, if you were Chuck Lorre what would you be doing? Besides dead-bolting your doors, I imagine.

So within a matter of days the whole Sheen thing has just gone from crazy/entertaining to sad. Sad, sad, sad. He very well may have bipolar disorder (sometimes it’s hard to tell what symptoms are mental illness and what symptoms are drug induced) and it just makes the whole situation that much sadder. He is going to crash and crash hard and who knows if he can ever come back from something like this, let alone the pain his family must be going through.

It’s also disheartening to see the media completely exploiting the fact that he has gone off the rails by touting their coverage of him and continuing to give him a forum and a platform to espouse his increasingly incoherent and violent thoughts. I just can’t help but think that there’s no way this isn’t going to end up in a courtroom, either civil or criminal and maybe both.

How would old Hollywood have handled this? I imagine he would have been spirited away somewhere and a publicist would release a statement saying he was ‘hospitalized for exhaustion.’ I don’t think they would have allowed him to self-destruct so publicly, not necessarily out of concern for him and his health but out of concern for the image of their studio.

At first I wondered if there was a different term for jumping the shark, to indicate that Charlie Sheen had officially gone too far – like ‘shooting up with the shark’ or ‘coking up with the shark” … but then I think we quickly moved into the Sheendenfreude phase. What comes next …

TV Palate Cleanser
After all the torrid Sheen-ness in the air, we all need a little palate cleansing.

The late great Bob Ross was on Arizona PBS the other morning when I was flipping channels in my hotel room. (yes I like a little TV to get me going in the morning. I’m also known for falling asleep with the TV on. White noise …. soothing.)

Highlights from Mr. Ross:

“Just a little yellow ochre – but not too much! “

He was painting a seascape and advised using a fan brush and to “…tap. Just tap. Tap tap. Make some rocks so the seagulls have a place to nest and the puffins too. Just caress it.”

“ I bet you knew I’d put a rock there!”

“Aren’t puffins just the cutest creatures God ever made? Like their noses are too big for their faces.”

Trippy and gentle at the same time. Good night all!
Ps why are they putting Busey on Celebrity Apprentice? Too sad.


  1. Bob Ross, RIP, was mesmerizing. I did know he'd put a rock there!

  2. Aww, Bob Ross, lol.

    I'm with you about Celeb App; that cast flew way beyond entertaining to just plain scary.

    As for Sheen, time will tell. Maybe he IS a warlock.

    - Will :-)

  3. Did you hear a coven of witches is now after him for claiming he's a warlock? And yeah, Celebrity Apprentice has jumped the crazy shark.