Spoiler alert - if you haven't watched the episode yet, stop reading.
Episode opens with Christopher having sexy dream about Elena. As if we didn’t already know he still has feelings for her. They had to throw some sex into this episode, and that's about all we got.
Attention to detail: John Ross has fake Marta del Sol (FMarta) listed in his phone as Marta del Sol. Good thinking.
JR and John Ross are still working on getting dirt on Lawyer Lubell’s drunky son, to use as leverage.
I wish JR would get his teeth fixed.
JR squared plot to set up drunky son. JR proposes using FMarta, John Ross demurs.
JR refers to Elena as “that Mexican girl.” Nice.
Never one to not go right for the jugular, John Ross calls Rebecca and reveals that he knows she sent the email to Elena that broker her and Christopher up. Does JR know that John Ross has this intel?
JR’s PI digs up dirt on FMarta, turns out she’s bipolar and has a history of violent stalking. JR declares her ‘Crazier than an outhouse rat.’ They plot to somehow use FMarta and Elena against John Ross.
Miss Ellie’s silver collection is missing – cue Rebecca’s “brother” Tommy. Anne is planning a big BBQ at the ranch. Then she and Bobby are moving to … a condo? As if.
Christopher and Rebecca are now staying at Southfork (SF).
Elena comes in with some bids for a test of the methane something something that she needs to review with Christopher. They exchange longing glances … and cue Rebecca walking in awkwardly.
Referring to one of the contractors who is bidding on the tests, Christopher says, “In the oil business, cheap and fast gets you good and dead.”
Rebecca rushes off to the library to study for the Texas bar exam.
Anne is annoyed because Bobby won’t spend time going through “his family’s” things while they are moving.
JR shows up at Sue Ellen’s office to give her a ‘good luck charm’ for her pending campaign for governor, Miss Ellie’s pearls that he ‘found’ while cleaning up SF. Suddenly Cliff Barnes (Yay Ken Kercheval) bursts in and JR gets annoyed, says Cliff “must have been out of his tiny mind” if he thought they would sell SF to him. Sue Ellen says she contacted Cliff to get political advice. (this refers back to the original Dallas when Cliff ran for some office backed by a fake campaign that JR used to set him up, or something like that)
“You lost the right to have a say in with whom I lunch, a long time ago.” Sue Ellen to JR.
Rebecca wasn’t going to the law library after all!! She was meeting John Ross. She feebly protests that she wasn’t the one who sent the email. Although it could have been her brother. Either way, she accepts John Ross’s bargain – if she helps him with his underhanded plot to frame Lawyer Lubell’s drunky son, then he’ll let her get away with her plot to scam Christopher, whom John Ross refers to as “my dimwitted cousin.” (Dimwitted but hot) She is supposed to get photos of Drunky Son doing drugs. John Ross says “You strike me as a resourceful girl, Rebecca,” you’ll figure it out. I agree.
With twists and turns like this, the first third of the episode flew by!
Elena meets John Ross at their fave local bar. She says she’s there to talk business and needs his help charming some old lady out of her oil rights because he’s “a lot better at people than she is.” Yikes.
She charms him by saying “you look a lot better as an oilman than a barfly.” JR’s PI is at the bar watching the whole exchange.
Christopher and Bobby are mending fences – literally. How quaint. Wonder why one of their 900 ranch hands can’t do this. Ever prescient Bobby is tuning in to the fact that it might be awkward for Christopher having his ex-girlfriend and wife in such close proximity .. gee why didn’t Christopher think of that.
One of the above mentioned ranch hands pulls up in one of the 900 gleaming white pickup trucks with the SF logo emblazoned on the side to alert Bobby that a pregnant cow is in trouble! He’s such a humanitarian and renaissance man!
Cue crusty old lady Henderson to be charmed out of her oil. She says to John Ross: “oh, you’ve got your daddy’s charm, let’s hope you didn’t get his morals.” Too late.
Twice FMarta has called John Ross and he’s ducking her calls. Foreshadowing stalkery.
In a compete show of maturity, John Ross starts spraying Elena with a hose. Really. They engage in some light hugging, which is captured on film by the creepy PI who is working for JR. Elena stops before it goes any further.
Elena tells John Ross she needs to tell Sue Ellen how much it will cost to hire a crew to rape Old Lady Henderson’s land for oil. (in previous episode, SE agrees to back Elena financiall. Unclear if SE’s intentions good or not. Or Elena’s for that matter)
Elena asks if John Ross will go with her to see SE, his Momma. He says it may not be cordial. SE wants to be an ally to John Ross but he is resentful of her absence or alcoholism or whatever during his youth. Something about a boarding school, wah wah.
Love the Dallas beauty shots.
SE expresses concern that John Ross is in touch with JR, asks if he thinks his father has really changed. John Ross says he’s glad he’s finally teaching him about the oil business and stalks out. No one enters or leaves a room normally in this family.
SE looks wistfully at the pearls. She should rub them against her teeth to see if they’re real, that’s what I would do.
Cut to Christopher and Bobby discussing women problems while working on a cow having a difficult labor. Really.
Christopher reveals that he and E were going to elope, and that he found out right before he was to marry Rebecca that they were duped by the fake email (femail). Christopher declares his love for Rebecca but admits he “can’t stop thinking about what could have been.” Was afraid Bobby wouldn’t be proud of him. Bobby says he has to make a choice, let go of Elena for good. “I don’t know if I can,” says Christopher. C still believes John Ross sent the email.
Bobby wisely decides to take off his watch before sticking it in a cow’s bum.
Unclear how much time has actually elapsed between episodes but Rebecca already has wedding photos on display in her bedroom. I guess money buys you a very speedy photographer.
Rebecca poses as recovering addict to ensnare Drunky Son, who is leading an AA or NA meeting. She’s low.
I think JR’s PI is named Bum. Or Bump.
JR wants to use the photos of John Ross and Elena frolicking with the hose to enrage FMarta. Knowing full well that she has violent stalker tendencies! That man is a dickhead.
Sounds like stuff will go down at the big BBQ (shocking).
“You know I’m good at trouble,” says Bum(p). “Me too,” says JR.
Elana asks John Ross to go back in business with her. As for the personal part, she says “one step at a time.”
John Ross arrives at his loft to find FMarta waiting angrily for him. He of course lies to her about where he’s been. They of course kiss passionately.
Cut to Rebecca sitting in a car with Drunky Son – who gets into a car with a total stranger? 12 steps or not. She tries ham-handedly to get him to do drugs. He says he’s clean, and not interested. He seems like a nice guy, probably the only one on the show, so of course he will get screwed royally. He reveals his weakness, his wife/girlfriend. That will likely be used against him in future.
Rebecca backs down.
She finds Tommy in her room at SF installing the program in Christopher’s computer so they can steal his patent. He also says he’s digging around in the family info at SF to find info they can use to exploit the family. He says it’s all about money but I wonder if there isn’t some sort of revenge involved? They said their parents died when they were young, any chance they blame the Ewings? Are their parents even really dead? I saw part of this plot on an episode of Monk once, BTW.
FMarta makes Neiman Marcus open after hours so she can buy John Ross an expensive watch (because he was late for their date). Classic stalker move.
Nice Neiman Marcus placement. Nice Piaget placement.
Rebecca calls, says she couldn’t go through with Drunky Son set-up. She appears to have some shred of a conscience. But John Ross, undeterred, threatens her again and says by tomorrow afternoon she better have pix of DS doing drugs or he’s going to tell Christopher everything. Unclear what he knows besides the tracing of the IP address to her of the mysterious Christopher-Elena break-up email.
FMarta offers to get the pictures of DS doing drugs first thing in the morning. DS has two strikes and evidence of doing drugs will get him three strikes and in Texas jail for like forever.
Cut to sad scene of birthing cow dying.
Cut to JR chatting Elena up, encourages her to invite John Ross to the BBQ. Mention of John Ross being dyslexic. JR has invited SE over to the ranch. She says Cliff Barnes wants to fund her campaing. JR says “that man is as see-through as a mosquito net” and he just wants to be in her pocket. SE says “everybody wants something. What do you want?” He says, “a fresh start.”
She’s not wearing the pearls.
Cut to scene of adorable baby cow being introduced to a new cow foster mom. Cue discussion about Christopher’s adoption (nice segue!!)
Did I mention that Elena also lives on the ranch? Every freakin’person lives there.
Christopher shows up with a check for $20k for Elena for her help with the methane testing. He is rude and says he wants there to be no question in future of ownership and he wants “no obligation to her.” Says she is ambitious and always trying to prove how she’s more than just the help’s daughter, and that it’s clear how quickly she will compromise her integrity for money. She missed a great opportunity to slap him!
Likely he is just being harsh to make it easier on them not being sweet on each other, but he said some very dirtbaggy things.
She sends John Ross a text and asks him to be her date to the BBQ. Couldn’t his father just have invited him?
If FMarta is worth her salt as a stalker she’s reading his texts.
John Ross tells JR that Marta is taking care of the Lubell issue and that he will confront Lubell first thing in the morning. He texts Rebecca to let her know he’s coming to the BBQ.
FMarta is taking her pills with alcohol, and is upset that John Ross broke their “date.” JR shows up at her door with the pictures of John Ross frolicking with Elena. She now knows that John Ross lied to her yesterday and was with Elena, and that he is on his way to SF to be with Elena.
FMarta gives JR the pix of Drunky Son, he looks dead in them. JR offers her a new deal with him.
Yay Charlene Tilton! She looks good.
It doesn’t look quite humid enough at this BBQ.
Jeezy Creezy even the damn dance floor at the BBQ has a big SF logo on it.
Rebecca tells Christopher she has to tell him something.
JR goes immediately to Lubell and threatens him with the pix. Demands 100% of the deed, cutting John Ross out of his half. Says “John Ross can wait his turn.”
Father of the year!!
Rebecca says that she has to tell Christopher something about the infamous email. Duhn duhn duhn!
Dayum, the episode is over already!!
PS - they found the silver.