Episode opens with Christopher racing a pretty horse out to the thinkin’ tree where the Ewings carve the names of their beloveds. He caresses the carving of “Chris + Elena.”
John Ross is on the phone yelling at some lawyer to ‘un-do’ the trust that blocks him from the mineral rights on Southfork. Christopher strolls in and gives him back the DVD of John Ross having sex with FMarta, tho unclear why he wouldn’t hold on to it as collateral. I guess he’s that thick. … John Ross says “don’t you have some cows to go birth?” good question.
Christopher says something about the Ewing name (BIRTHRIGHT!!) and says “just because I’m fighting fair, doesn’t mean I won’t fight … for Southfork AND FOR ELENA. “
Cue John Ross’s nostrils flaring … and the awesome theme song which gets stuck in your head for days at a time. Well at least it does in mine.
Rebecca shows up at Elena’s door with a gift basket to thank her for ‘being cool’ about taking her to the doctor. She promptly yaks in Elena’s bathroom, and Elena immediately knows Rebecca is preggos. She says “I’m sorry I threw up in your bathroom” and leaves. It’s this kind of writing that keeps us hooked!!
Incidentally, has anyone had Elena checked out for anorexia? She’s not going to eat any of the food in that basket, guarantee.
Incidentally, can just anyone in the world just drive onto SF and hang out whenever they please? You’d think there would be a guardhouse, and that they’d have instructions to not let Rebecca on the property. You’d also think that Christopher would have changed the locks on his loft so that Rebecca couldn’t be hanging around in it with her “brother” going through important family documents … that boy just is really thick I think. He may just be dumb enough to fall for Rebecca’s ploys to try and get him back.
I’m not convinced that she really does love Christopher – well, maybe she hearts him a little but I don’t think her motives are pure – and I’m not convinced that baby is his. Unfortunately, he’s probably too thick to demand a paternity test. (Maury tie-in? Note to producers.)
Cut to Ann sitting in a park somewhere fingering the locket her ex husband gave her and watching kids in a playground. Bobby calls her – why is he listed as “Bobby Ewing” in her phone – do you have your husband’s first and last name as his contact in your phone? Mine says Sweet B, not my hub’s real name. Suspicious.
Further suspicious, she lies to Bobby and says she’s at Nieman’s (taking the name in vain) and that she won’t be home in time to take a ride with him. What skeletons from her past are dancing in her closet?
Unfortunately now that I’ve made the connection that she is the braless “if it don’t fit, you must acquit” character from Seinfeld, I can’t stop picturing her that way. I miss you, Jackie Chiles! But I digress …
John Ross tells a story about bourbon to Charlene Tilton over salad. She makes a reference to Sue Ellen’s alcoholism. He asks ‘his favorite cousin’ Lucy to ask Uncle Gary to help him with the mineral rights issue. JR and Gary need to sign off for him to be able to drill. She seems surprised that John Ross is a d-bag.
Offers her a ‘significant stake’ (or steak, perhaps) in Ewing oil for her participation. Wouldn’t she already have a stake? So many questions.
Elena is working on her pickup truck – she’s so self sufficient. Christopher shows up and tries and helps her with the engine.
“any sparks” he asks? Har har.
He tries to apologize to Elena for what he said, she says he has to respect her relationship with John Ross. She acknowledges they were getting too close. He says he cares about her, and he should have fought harder when he thought she ditched him on their wedding day. She urges him to call Rebecca.
Then she blurts out that Rebecca is pregnant. “She should have been the one to tell you,” says Elena. AH, YOU THINK?
Christopher storms off. So much storming in this show, love it.
Bobby is somewhere on the ranch playing with cattle (he’s so hands on) and police come to find him. They arrest him for the assault on Harris Ryland – oooh didn’t see that coming! Instead of fighting back, Ryland hits him legally. Well played. And he did it in front of witnesses, even.
Bobby is in jail, talking with his lawyer. Well-connected Ryland is offering a deal – Bobby apologizes and he will drop the charges. Don’t trust him! Bobby thinks Ryland wants to get his hooks back into Ann.
Bobby switches conversation to ‘where is JR?’
Lawyer says he’s got some dirt on JR”s PI, Bum. So his name is Bum, not Bump. Good to know.
Christopher goes to the loft. Accuses Rebecca of lying about the pregnancy.
She gives him attitude … ooh low blow she throws the abandonment card at him – says she thought he’d be more understanding, seeing how his birth parents treated him.
Christopher tells Bobby and Ann that he’s going to have Rebecca do a paternity test. So he does have an ounce of sense! Bobby expresses surprise that Christopher might think Rebecca is lying (huh?) and Ann yells at Christopher saying Rebecca is trying to do right by him and he’s just being spiteful and cruel. (double huh? Must be a reference to her own past)
Ever since she got Ryland’s flowers, she’s been ‘edgy.’ I don’t think she told Bobby about the locket.
In return, Bobby hadn’t told her that he went to see Ryland and ‘slapped him around,’ and now Ryland is demanding an apology or will press charges.
John Ross and Elena are out to dinner. Twisted Root Burgers – I’ve been there!! Damn good burgers. John Ross is right about something. Apparently was the site of their first date. He says she’s the one thing grounding him right now and he doesn’t know what he’d do without her.
And they are drinking Shiner Bock – very Texan.
Says they should go on a trip when all the drilling nonsense is past them. Just then he sees FMarta walk by …
Things get worse as the Venezolanos call him and demand a meeting in one hour.
“Word travels like oil in a pipeline,” says Vicente. “and the word is, there is no oil in your pipeline.” Reminds John Ross that he owns the lien on SF. John Ross offers information in exchange for more time; he throws FMarta under the bus and tells Vicente that she’s been skimming from him. Asks that FMarta be run out of town.
John Ross gets one more week …
And if they don’t get what they are promised, they will take SF. BIRTHRIGHT!!
John Ross catches Lucy coming out of Bobby’s office. She and Gary are on Bobby’s side. John Ross says he’s in trouble with the Venezuelans. Bobby is shall we say unsympathetic to his plight.
You almost feel sorry for John Ross.
Next scene, he goes crying to Momma. She suggests he use some of Elena’s oil to pay off the Venezuelans. Not a bad idea. John Ross says he doesn’t want to
JR calls Bum to see what’s going on. JR doesn’t seem worried about the mineral rights trusts holding up in court. Bum gives him the update on Cliff’s right hand man who turns out to be a child from Islamabad that he plucked from the streets and gave a home, job, education. In other words, a foundling!! Very Little Orphan Annie.
JR alludes to maybe making Islamabad some kind of offer.
Christopher and Rebecca are at the doctor’s office getting a paternity test. Touching scene. She apologizes for what she said about his birth parents. Wah wah.
Sue Ellen takes Elena to lunch, tries to convince her to give John Ross oil. Sue Ellen is very convincing. Plus, she is the sole investor in Elena’s company, and she not so subtly reminds her.
Two tables over, FMarta is watching Elena at the restaurant.
John Ross gets a call from Elena, but it’s really FMarta on the other end of the line!! She intimates that she has Elena (I don’t think she does, just her phone) and that he should come to some hotel.
John Ross goes storming over there. Walks into a dark hotel room (bad move). Finds a freaky mad looking FMarta hiding in the hotel room. She is (rightfully so) freaking out over the fact that Vicente knows she stole from him. She says if he cares about Elena’s safety, he will help save her from the Venezuelans.
Christopher goes to Elena’s door. Of course, she is there, not with FMarta. Elena apologizes for spilling the beans about the pregnancy. Christopher declares he still wants to be with her. She resists because he’s going to be a father. She says they have to make it work with their respective others.
“I guess timing is everything,” says Christopher. Ain’t that the truth.
Of course it couldn’t be that easy. Sure, we thought Rebecca was going to be out of the picture, clearing the way for Christopher and Elena to get back together … but NOOOO whammo stupid pregnancy gets in the way.
Bobby goes to Ryland and apologizes, Ryland drops charges. Bobby tells him to stay away from Anne. Ryland tires to give him a folder and says Anne is hiding something from him.
Vicente froze FMarta’s bank accounts. John Ross offers her money, she wants his help. For some reason FMarta had a camera set up, unclear what she was intending to film. He snatches Elena’s phone back from her, she scratches him, he leaves.
Cue 2 Venezuelan goons going toward FMarta’s room. Clearly they will kill her, and police will find John Ross’s DNA under her fingernails. Dun dun dun!
Ann is pleading with Christopher to take Rebecca back, saying she lied about something in her past but didn’t lie about her love .. uh talking about herself much? Clearly she’s hiding something, and it has something to do with a child. Bobby has the folder that Ryland gave him, but it’s not clear if he’s looked at it or not. Phone rings, doctor calling Christopher about the paternity results .. but of course they won’t give him the results over the phone.
Cut back to John Ross leaving the hotel, and running smack dab into FMarta’s very real dead body lying on the hood of a car … horror!! My guess is he will run rather than wait for the cops. He may think FMarta committed suicide, she did have a well documented history of mental instability, but the whole DNA under the fingernails is going to prove quite a bother …
Oh, yeah, he’s pulling a runner. Bad move. Especially when they were witnesses who saw him on FMarta’s floor .. and particularly when the hotel security footage will very easily pick him up fleeing in his black Corvette.
So Christopher goes to the doctor, with his mom and dad, which is a little weird, and finds out the baby is his. Er, make that, babies. They can tell at 9 weeks that someone is having twins? Double kick to the nuts, Christopher.
Cue creepy/supposed to be sweet scene of an ultrasound with Rebecca, Christopher … and his parents. Ann runs off crying. Awkward.
Cut to Ann fingering the locket again in front of a fireplace. Bobby tells her that Ryland gave him a folder about her past, but he doesn’t need to look in it. Says he’s there for her, and throws the folder in the fireplace. Sheeet, I would have read it lickety split. Cut to images of photos burning, of Ann holding a baby. Something tells me we haven’t heard the last of this.
John Ross meets up with Elena. She tells him she’ll help with the oil, says “we’re in this together, I’ve made my choice.” JUST at that second, police pull up looking for John Ross, saying he was seen fleeing the scene of a crime, namely that of the murder of FMarta. They take him in for questioning. Oddly enough he doesn’t protest his innocence and he and Elena just give each other a meaningful stare. Guess it’s good FMarta was taping the action in the hotel room, huh?
How do they pack so much into one hour? Less even when you factor in commercials. Damn.