Monday, January 24, 2011

What would your mob name be?

The news has been rampant with stories about late last week’s historic FBI bust of more than 125 accused mobsters. But what has captured the public’s (or the reporters’) attention has been that along with the list of names released of those arrested, their nicknames were also listed.

Some of my favorites:

• Burgers
• Lumpy
• Johnny Pizza
• The Bull (Sammy?)
• Baby Fat (seems self explanatory)
• Mush (hmm)
• Jello (maybe he’s jiggly, or really likes gelatin)
• Meatball (okay)
• Vinnie Carwash
• Junior Lollipops (stripper name?)
• Baby Shacks (no clue)
• Tony Bagels (who doesn’t love a bagel)
• The Claw
• Marbles (maybe as in ‘lost his’?)

I can only imagine what my mob name would be. I could pick one for myself, sure, but I get the feeling that these names are assigned to you by your mob colleagues, and like a good roast or hazing name it plays up qualities that aren’t your best.

Perhaps not quite as entertaining as choosing your porn star name, stripper name, drag queen name or soap opera star name, but I’m humbly open to your suggestions.
Ten Cups of Coffee? Never on Time Tania?


  1. "Mush" is a common term in London for "associate". Connected? Prob not. I'd be Johnny Fingers - also the name of The Boomtown Rats' pyjama wearing pianist.

  2. Mush = associate? okay, good to know. Johnny Fingers, got it. would you also consider Johnny Dangerously ...